Lurneeng tu Kommyunickayt
I think everybody should take courses on conflict resolution and how to communicate effectively... It would make life a lot easier.
I find that the majority of drama, the majority of hurt friendships comes from a lack of how to effectively communicate or to effectively deal with an issue properly. And it's starting to tick me off.
This isn't because of one specific incident, but it seems as though (probably with me being in ministry) that I have had a lot of conversations with people who are dealing with hurt relationships or drama in their friendships. For every situation, it's come down to a lack of being able to listen and understand each other. Of course they can hear and then reiterate what the person said to them, but they fail to truly understand it.
What happens when there's not clear communication (and when I mean communication, there has to be understanding, not just speaking and listening.) is it leads into over-internalization and over-analyzation; two things that become detrimental powder-kegs to any situation. How many times have we (saying this because all of us have dealt with this at some point in our lives) spent all night tossing and turning in our beds because we're thinking of a conversation or an incident that could be different? THAT ISN'T HEALTHY!!! What happens is a chain of events... We lose sleep, become physically tired. We over-analyze therefore becoming mentally tired. When we are mentally and physically tired, Satan sticks his foot in the door and starts bombarding you with thoughts and doubts so much so that you become spiritually tired.
Once you're physically, mentally and spiritually fatigued, you are immobile.
Sorry about this rant, but I've been a bit frustrated lately because the obvious seems hard to grasp...
From now on, for all those family members, for all those friends, for all those young people who are dealing with drama... Let's all learn communication and conflict resolution in the healthy way.
I find that the majority of drama, the majority of hurt friendships comes from a lack of how to effectively communicate or to effectively deal with an issue properly. And it's starting to tick me off.
This isn't because of one specific incident, but it seems as though (probably with me being in ministry) that I have had a lot of conversations with people who are dealing with hurt relationships or drama in their friendships. For every situation, it's come down to a lack of being able to listen and understand each other. Of course they can hear and then reiterate what the person said to them, but they fail to truly understand it.
What happens when there's not clear communication (and when I mean communication, there has to be understanding, not just speaking and listening.) is it leads into over-internalization and over-analyzation; two things that become detrimental powder-kegs to any situation. How many times have we (saying this because all of us have dealt with this at some point in our lives) spent all night tossing and turning in our beds because we're thinking of a conversation or an incident that could be different? THAT ISN'T HEALTHY!!! What happens is a chain of events... We lose sleep, become physically tired. We over-analyze therefore becoming mentally tired. When we are mentally and physically tired, Satan sticks his foot in the door and starts bombarding you with thoughts and doubts so much so that you become spiritually tired.
Once you're physically, mentally and spiritually fatigued, you are immobile.
Sorry about this rant, but I've been a bit frustrated lately because the obvious seems hard to grasp...
From now on, for all those family members, for all those friends, for all those young people who are dealing with drama... Let's all learn communication and conflict resolution in the healthy way.
posted by Tyco Montoyo at 12:53 AM
9 Comments:
I agree, most hurt relationships are due to just not hearing, or just not saying whats on your mind. When you do , you usually realize how small and petty those 'huge' things are. It saddens me to think that this is the reason for most divorces. It's some times so hard to just say, sorry, or I don't get you, and yet that can start things back on the right track
You're getting ticked off a lot lately tyco...glad you're fueling it into communicating tho! We all need a bit of a reality check - especially when it comes to thinking we're communicating and over-analyzing (I don't see a big fatty finger pointing at me!) Anyways...keep on pioneering in the obvious...sometimes what's right infront of us is hardest to see!
i took anger management...OOPS i mean CONFLICT management at school last year...it was a sweet class...i learned a lot about conflict and all that jazz...the world should ahve to take it...great teacher as well..
Tyson,
It was good to get caught up on your blog. Now I know if I want to catch up with you it's off to Ethical Addictions for me. It's good to see a little fire in your posts. Nice to see that there are people who get fired up about people not being free.
I was a conflict mediator in middle school. But I was also a troublemaker back in the day. The conflict mediator was sent to have her own conflict mediated!
I agree that communication is the big cause of conflict. Plus, I think some people are constantly looking for conflict.
Um. I read your blog, by the way.
YOU have to learn to communicate through your blog...a little more than once a month! Hope things in the hood are going well...prayin' for ya!
Can anyone say UPDATE!? :) Tys - we need to go for sushi again!! And this time, ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI!!
suuuuushi....suuuuuuuushi
hey you lied you told me you were going to update. geez!
Post a Comment
<< Home